The past couple of days it's been rough...I mean really rough. I haven't been working out or watching my food intake. A big downward spiral. I couldn't figure out what was going on with me. I thought possibly I was just burn out. Well, I found myself headed down a bad direction. I really think I was headed towards becoming depressed again. I just wanted to sit around and watch online movies. A huge flag...something seriously wrong here. Last night, the phone rang during the middle of the night around 2:00am. I didn't even realize it but Leroy wasn't even home. The poor guy was still stuck at work and I'm not sure what time he will be making it home today. After, I got off the phone with his co-worker. I just seem to be overwhelmed...I'm not sure where this all came from. I just started to cry for no reason. All of sudden...I realized what's been my issue. This is really hard for me becuase I'm not a crier. I reason I'm still grieving the lost my neighbor. We were super close and I really miss her. We still chat on facebook but it's not the same. I really miss having a friend...that I could bare my soul to and not worry about being judge. I felt 100% comfortable with her. Her and her family moved away before xmas. It's been hard. I cried for a long time. I decided that I hadn't allowed myself to grieve the lost of a good friendship. I managed to wake up this morning with a new charge. I feel a 100 times better. I'm really to move forward. I have lots of friends at church but I usually keep them at arm's lengths unless it's my older sisters from church. Their the bomb...never judgement. Time to work on building up new friendships. I'm ready to move on...life's to short. Maybe we will get another renter across the street. It's hard but I'm willing to own to the emotion. It's okay to be weak...I can't be strong all the time. It's okay.
I jump on the scale. I'm at 130.5 pounds...not to bad. I thought for sure I had gained a couple of pounds. I'm off to workout to Chalean. I love Chalean. So...awesome. Time to lift some heavy weights.
No comments:
Post a Comment